Let's Do This

So much for staying on schedule during the semester.

>.<

Mostly my excuse yesterday was that we had another doctor's appointment which was down in Denver.  It amazes me how we're an hour away but going down there is a half day ordeal.  The appointment went well other than I really did not like the doctor who came in after the tech did my ultrasound.  Pretty sure D didn't like her either.  How could you like someone bouncing the ultrasound thing on your home to try and get you to move around.  

Truthfully, I was pissed.

So by the time I got home I was exhausted.  Then again by about 5 or 6 in the evening any day I'm wiped (stupid classes in the tops of buildings) and doing anything other than sitting on the couch takes entirely too much energy, haha!

Found out today that I will have to sit out on some activities in my photo class.  It's all about alternative ways to process photos so we're working with several chemicals and while most won't hurt me as long as I'm wearing gloves and not drinking the developer (doesn't print developer just sound scrumptious?) I'll be just fine.  I will, however have to miss out on some fairly noxious processes like Gum Bichromate, which is uber fascinating but I can always give it a go after the little one is born.  But there is lots I will be able to do and I can't wait to make pinhole cameras out of all sorts of ridiculous objects which will be one of our first projects.

My other classes seem like they'll be good, fairly easy.

*runs off to knock on wood and runs back*

Which I'm hoping will hold true as another one of my courses is me focusing solely on my portfolio.  My senior portfolio that needs to be spectacular enough that they'll be like yes we feel confident you can go off in the world and be a photographer.

*deep breaths*

This is what's scaring me most.  I gotta pick a direction for my art.  Up until now it's been try a little of this and a little of that and make discoveries and have fun.  Now it's figure out what I want my photography to say about me.  My art has to speak for me and what I'm about.  It needs to have a discernible style.  So John looked at me today and said he needed me to do some serious soul searching.

*gulp*

I know it's true but damn it scares me.  I also know I can always later change directions.  Artists change style all the time but I've been trying to choose a direction for a year and I'm still drawing a blank.  This is also why my photography site has sat for months without me adding anything.

Well that and I need to reinstall my tablet driver because suddenly my laptop hates my guts.

*headdesk*

Which is the goal for tomorrow afternoon/night and then this weekend is crazy photo editing time so I can get discs to two of my girls who were awesome models for me last semester as well as get some new material on my site and take something to John next week and say okay this is what I've been up to and now I need your professional opinion.  Which I would get whether I wanted it or not but it's crunch time and I need to lay it all out on the line.

*deep breath*

Alright last semester of my college career....

Let's do this.