So I told my dear Twitter followers I would explain why I need beer to study for Art History. So yeah, here it is.
When I went to NJC (a 2 year college in CO) I took Art History I & II. I met my friend Jared in that class, and he was also a model for our life drawing class the second semester (when we were also taking art history II). Oh the memories. Like the time we embarrassed out professor so much with our dirty jokes (of which the quietest and most innocent girl in our class was also involved) during which Jared was a model that he never asked Jared to model again. Oops. LMAO. Anyway so Jared and I started hanging out and then we were texting one night and he was at the bar, studying, to which I was like "yeah sure, studying the female form." So then one night before a test I go with him to hang out at the bar and studying. We started with the books, but ditched em quickly for a game of pool and a pitcher of beer. So then we started quizzing each other as we were playing pool. The next day I ACED my test. It was freaking awesome.
Yeah this class... not going so well and I blame Jared. He knows it too, lol. ^w~ How dare he go to one of the best colleges for his major and leave me here to study by myself? Lol.
12/8/09
12/6/09
A Guide to Gas Stations
So for those who don't know, I'm a gas jockey, aka I work in a gas station. (No, I will not tell you what one, or even what chain. As much as I may whine, I like my job and most definitely need it). At work today (in between the endless mopping sessions- it snowed today) I was thinking about if I were to write a blog about advice for patrons to gas stations, which is pretty much everyone unless you have someone that does that for you, in which case- SHARE THE WEALTH. So here it is, mostly so I can vent for a moment. Disclaimer- while these are valid points I try for the most part to not be too bitchy about it, but we'll see if that comes across.
1. Do NOT bitch about being ID'd for Ciggs, lotto, or booze. Seriously. Now, honestly, I used to be one of those people but you must realize that these places have people who are underage come in and attempt to buy these items with the intention of tricking us into not IDing them and then bam- red card. What does that mean? Well most places your first red card mean a nice big boot out the door. "Thanks for working here, don't come back for your next shift." Yeah that's right most places FIRE their associates for the first red card and if it's not the first it IS the second that gets you the boot. Just take it as a compliment (it's hard to do, I know- I look 12 so I get carded for lottery tix) and go on about your day. Note: ID means a GOVERMENT ISSUED ID- military ID, license or state ID, Green card or Passport. NOTHING ELSE. I also believe it is state law to not accept expired IDs either (it IS ok though if you have your old, hole punched ID AND the paper they give you, but not just one of the two). OH! Most importantly, don't throw your ID at me either- someday I may throw it back.
2. Gas Pumps, oh gas pumps. Those tricky things that you apparently need a degree in rocket science to use. Yeah... most of those things give instructions, either via the screen or a note pasted to the pump, and if you are having trouble DO NOT act like the station attendant is too dumb to help you. We have been trained to work AND troubleshoot almost any problem you may have and the chances of it being an ID-10-T error on your part is much higher than you would like to know.
3. Signs. Specifically: Out Of Order. These signs are self explanatory. No, really. I'm not kidding, if it has those words posted on it, I'm not just selecting things to hang them on randomly just for fun. It. just. doesn't. work. and arguing or pleading doesn't help, trust me, I tried so I wouldn't have to listen to you do it.
4. Those who chew. You will get the date I give you. Whining about what date is on the bottom of the can will only irritate me AND the customers waiting for you to get your shit and get out. If I gave everyone that complained the freshest chew, I would still have chew from 1999.
5. Winning ticket. Yeah. a- I wouldn't work here anymore if I could pick winning numbers. I would be living on my own exotic island drinking something with an umbrella in it. b- I hear this joke a million times a day and it lost it's funny after the 2nd time.
All I ask is for you to keep these in mind the next time you get gas. ^w~ I joke (or at least I attempt) but for the most part these are things that irritate most gas station attendants (I've worked at 2 gas stations) so please, be kind and in the words of Wil Wheaton- "Don't be a dick".
1. Do NOT bitch about being ID'd for Ciggs, lotto, or booze. Seriously. Now, honestly, I used to be one of those people but you must realize that these places have people who are underage come in and attempt to buy these items with the intention of tricking us into not IDing them and then bam- red card. What does that mean? Well most places your first red card mean a nice big boot out the door. "Thanks for working here, don't come back for your next shift." Yeah that's right most places FIRE their associates for the first red card and if it's not the first it IS the second that gets you the boot. Just take it as a compliment (it's hard to do, I know- I look 12 so I get carded for lottery tix) and go on about your day. Note: ID means a GOVERMENT ISSUED ID- military ID, license or state ID, Green card or Passport. NOTHING ELSE. I also believe it is state law to not accept expired IDs either (it IS ok though if you have your old, hole punched ID AND the paper they give you, but not just one of the two). OH! Most importantly, don't throw your ID at me either- someday I may throw it back.
2. Gas Pumps, oh gas pumps. Those tricky things that you apparently need a degree in rocket science to use. Yeah... most of those things give instructions, either via the screen or a note pasted to the pump, and if you are having trouble DO NOT act like the station attendant is too dumb to help you. We have been trained to work AND troubleshoot almost any problem you may have and the chances of it being an ID-10-T error on your part is much higher than you would like to know.
3. Signs. Specifically: Out Of Order. These signs are self explanatory. No, really. I'm not kidding, if it has those words posted on it, I'm not just selecting things to hang them on randomly just for fun. It. just. doesn't. work. and arguing or pleading doesn't help, trust me, I tried so I wouldn't have to listen to you do it.
4. Those who chew. You will get the date I give you. Whining about what date is on the bottom of the can will only irritate me AND the customers waiting for you to get your shit and get out. If I gave everyone that complained the freshest chew, I would still have chew from 1999.
5. Winning ticket. Yeah. a- I wouldn't work here anymore if I could pick winning numbers. I would be living on my own exotic island drinking something with an umbrella in it. b- I hear this joke a million times a day and it lost it's funny after the 2nd time.
All I ask is for you to keep these in mind the next time you get gas. ^w~ I joke (or at least I attempt) but for the most part these are things that irritate most gas station attendants (I've worked at 2 gas stations) so please, be kind and in the words of Wil Wheaton- "Don't be a dick".
Categories
bitching,
gas station,
joking,
pet peeves,
random,
work
12/3/09
Mental Exhaustion
I had to take a break from my attempt at homework. I have to vent and do it quick or I may explode. Warning- my sailor mouth is exposed in this post.
My day has been crap. Migraine which I fought all day, and having to go print photos in a brightly lit room while staring at a computer screen was not helping at all. Then I've finally got it down to a dull roar so I can work on other stuff and I'm so damn stressed I can't focus. I keep bouncing from one thing to another and I'm not getting a damn thing done as a result. I keep bursting into tears, which definitely isn't helping matters either.
So I have a little "interview final" due in Japanese tomorrow. Sensei will ask questions and I have to answer them. Simple right? Yeah you'd think so other than the questions are in Japanese and I'm having a hell of a time translating them, and well without knowing what the question is asking it's a bit hard to answer it. Don't tell me to try online translators either. I've tried them all and nothing ever fucking works and I've had it.
Then I have a final photo project due tomorrow which I'm stressing hardcore. Still not sure how I want to present it and what's in my head looks spectacular, if only I had the means to make it reality. Then I'd like to have resubmitted some photos from previous projects and done extra credit for this one as well but it just ain't happenin'.
Then on top of all that I'm pretty well failing Art History III. That class if fucking ridiculous hard. As in I don't know how anyone that doesn't have a perfect photographic memory could ever pass with anything more than a freaking C. Oh the best part? I have to pass it with a B. _^&!_#^&!#(_^&(@#&^!!!!!!!!!! So I decided to do all the possible extra credit available, which is a whole 4 art work comparison that will help me out with 40 test percentage points, which may help had I not failed two of the three tests we've taken. It would also help me out greatly if I could just stop bursting into tears from the stress so I could read the damn textbook and see the computer screen in order to write it. At this point it would be better if I could fail it outright, then at least I could do grade forgiveness...
Then on top of it all my dumbass agreed to do a party tomorrow evening. Why? I'm a glutton for punishment apparently. Normally it's something I look forward to. I get to have fun, crack jokes about sex, educate women on keeping things spicy and make a some money while I'm at it, yet I'm so stressed out that even that joy has been sucked from my life.
Pretty much I hate everything right now.
Also, feel sorry for my husband who sat here all evening, watching me burst into tears every little bit and not knowing what the hell he could do to help. Poor man.
My day has been crap. Migraine which I fought all day, and having to go print photos in a brightly lit room while staring at a computer screen was not helping at all. Then I've finally got it down to a dull roar so I can work on other stuff and I'm so damn stressed I can't focus. I keep bouncing from one thing to another and I'm not getting a damn thing done as a result. I keep bursting into tears, which definitely isn't helping matters either.
So I have a little "interview final" due in Japanese tomorrow. Sensei will ask questions and I have to answer them. Simple right? Yeah you'd think so other than the questions are in Japanese and I'm having a hell of a time translating them, and well without knowing what the question is asking it's a bit hard to answer it. Don't tell me to try online translators either. I've tried them all and nothing ever fucking works and I've had it.
Then I have a final photo project due tomorrow which I'm stressing hardcore. Still not sure how I want to present it and what's in my head looks spectacular, if only I had the means to make it reality. Then I'd like to have resubmitted some photos from previous projects and done extra credit for this one as well but it just ain't happenin'.
Then on top of all that I'm pretty well failing Art History III. That class if fucking ridiculous hard. As in I don't know how anyone that doesn't have a perfect photographic memory could ever pass with anything more than a freaking C. Oh the best part? I have to pass it with a B. _^&!_#^&!#(_^&(@#&^!!!!!!!!!! So I decided to do all the possible extra credit available, which is a whole 4 art work comparison that will help me out with 40 test percentage points, which may help had I not failed two of the three tests we've taken. It would also help me out greatly if I could just stop bursting into tears from the stress so I could read the damn textbook and see the computer screen in order to write it. At this point it would be better if I could fail it outright, then at least I could do grade forgiveness...
Then on top of it all my dumbass agreed to do a party tomorrow evening. Why? I'm a glutton for punishment apparently. Normally it's something I look forward to. I get to have fun, crack jokes about sex, educate women on keeping things spicy and make a some money while I'm at it, yet I'm so stressed out that even that joy has been sucked from my life.
Pretty much I hate everything right now.
Also, feel sorry for my husband who sat here all evening, watching me burst into tears every little bit and not knowing what the hell he could do to help. Poor man.
12/1/09
In Utah, the Moon Rises in the South
No joke. So I'm sitting here thinking that I want to write a blog but I'm not sure what to write about. Then I remember that I'm pretty sure I promised I would explain the time my Mother-in-law and I discovered that in Utah, the moon comes up in the South.
Early in the semester there was a death in the family on my father-in-law's side. So we all packed up and headed to Utah, specifically Fairview. So one of the nights we were there my Mom-in-law and I hung out at the hotel while the guys went and did something, can't remember what. So we go across the street to the restaurant and were discussing what direction we thought was which. Random? Maybe. So I say North is one way and she says it's another, so we flag down our waiter to ask cause it's driving us nuts. He initially looks at us like we're on drugs and then answers. We were both WAY off. Then, and only then, do we realize that from our table we can see the moon. >.< So then we were cracking up that by her directions, the moon had come up in the South. Then of course, when the guys got back we slipped and told them of how turned around we got (in our defense if you have ever been to Fairview, UT it is in the mountains, as in surrounded and therefore very easy to get turned around in. That's my story anyway, lol) and haven't been able to forget it since, largely in thanks to my Father-in-law and husband. My husband is forever asking what direction the moon rises in in Utah and making comments about the moon rising in the South. Lol. Gotta love husbands.
Early in the semester there was a death in the family on my father-in-law's side. So we all packed up and headed to Utah, specifically Fairview. So one of the nights we were there my Mom-in-law and I hung out at the hotel while the guys went and did something, can't remember what. So we go across the street to the restaurant and were discussing what direction we thought was which. Random? Maybe. So I say North is one way and she says it's another, so we flag down our waiter to ask cause it's driving us nuts. He initially looks at us like we're on drugs and then answers. We were both WAY off. Then, and only then, do we realize that from our table we can see the moon. >.< So then we were cracking up that by her directions, the moon had come up in the South. Then of course, when the guys got back we slipped and told them of how turned around we got (in our defense if you have ever been to Fairview, UT it is in the mountains, as in surrounded and therefore very easy to get turned around in. That's my story anyway, lol) and haven't been able to forget it since, largely in thanks to my Father-in-law and husband. My husband is forever asking what direction the moon rises in in Utah and making comments about the moon rising in the South. Lol. Gotta love husbands.
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