Thankful Thursday: Dreams & AH-HA! Moments

I need this in my life right now.  As in I want it graffiti'd on the wall in my office.  Maybe tattooed on my leg.  It's that epic to me.  I shall explain:

If you follow me on Twitter you may know that yesterday I had an ah-ha! moment early in the morning.  See I have this thing with lightbulbs (hahaha how's that for symbolism).  I don't like changing them because too many times I've had one pop while I was doing so.  They also tend to pop in lamps when I'm right next to them.  Mostly electricity in general (unless we're talking car stereo, I'm a master at that- was taught by the best- my husband).  I had an experience in high school where my lamp wasn't working so I fiddled with the cord which had a tiny chewed spot which I got shocked with and I maintain until this day that everything went "skeleton" like it does in cartoons.  Anyway so I had always thought this fear was just transferring itself into my dreams.

I forever dream of lightbulbs being burned out but knowing/discovering it's an electrical problem.  Too many times have I had dreams about rooms I'm afraid to go in because they're pitch black or too little light to be able to navigate the room.  So yesterday morning I had a dream that once again involved lightbulbs.  In this dream I turn on this set of lights and they all come on and I was like "whoa that almost never happens to me" (kinda knowing it's a dream but not really because I dream about it THAT often that I think it carries from dream to dream) and so I try another set and about half the bulbs are burned out.  Well, when I wake up I'm amazed because I never have that many lit bulbs in a room.

So I get curious and look up the meaning of light bulbs in a dream.  I find out that lit bulbs symbolize being ready to accept/face a reality.  They can also stand for spiritual enlightenment, hope, new ideas and visions or that I'm approaching a situation from a new direction.  Burned out lightbulbs symbolize feeling inadequate, out of ideas or that you have nothing to offer.

Now most of you are prolly like "so what, big harry deal" "recurring theme who cares, what's your point" but this is where it hit me.  I had the most epic ah-ha! moment I have ever experience and it's bleeding into today!  It's more like an AH-HA!!!! moment and here it is-

I fear my artwork isn't good enough, written or visual (both ARE art) and I let it hold me back.  Then I see this photo this morning & I realize that I have a fear I'm not good enough to be a artist and I let it hold me back and by doing so I am asking for permission to be achieve greatness.  Well fuck that.  I'm over it.  This is my last semester where a grade depends on if it's a "correct" or "good" photograph (which btw depends on the viewer, everyone has a different opinion).  Yeah sure, I have to do what a client wants but that doesn't mean I can't do what I need to and what I need to do is make my own path that will attract clients to me!!  I recently started that photo-a-day assignment for myself & while I have slacked off on posting & photographing, I've been thinking about things I could photograph and I've already begun to see the world differently!  

So there you have it.  Yeah sorry it took me a novel to make my point but this is huge for me.  As in, moves me to tears, huge.  This is where I turn the world upside down and back again and make it work for me.  This is where I achieve greatness whether I have permission or not!!!

Also, pretty sure these unlit rooms stand for epic ideas I'll have when I quit being a wuss and grab a damn flashlight & fix the lights. :P  Oh & I'll just settle for a printed version of the graffiti, not sure my landlord/husband would approve. Lol!