My dorm room before crazy bitch roomie moved in on my second round at good ol' "No Job College".
The Sailor Moon skin on the music player on my FMA wallpaper along with my Sailor Moon comforter... #LovesIt
7/27/10
7/26/10
ぐうかんげつようび (Random Thoughts Monday) The beginning
So I had been searching for things like Wordless Wednesday, Wise Words Wednesday and Fill-in-the-blank Friday for months now but never saw any that fit me. So I made a few up that came to me as I searched and then even cheated and used some Japanese days to make them work. Like todays: Guukan Getsuyoobi (Random Thoughts Monday). So I was all sorts of excited to do them last week and then I got scheduled 7 freaking days in a row at my shitty job. *stabs self in eye*
I really hate that place. Love my coworkers (with two exceptions) but I can't take this crap much longer. Thankfully I should be quitting or taking a leave of absence or something at the start of the semester so I can work at my awesome job during the semester. Thank GAWD.
So pretty much I just wanted to say "look forward to my awesome new blogs here and on my tumblr"
I so can't wait for "Dreamy どようび" either (Saturdays) as those will be my hotness monster posts since I feel like everyone's missing a ton of hotties on their lists. I will be starting with my first celeb crush EVER so be prepared to laugh at me & my nerdself past & present cause I still find him dead sexy. ^w^
7/22/10
Thankful Thursday: The Love of My Life
I have a lot to be thankful for in my life and I tend to forget it/take it all for granted. Then as I was searching for topics for blogs BAM! It hit me. No really, I dropped something on my head... lol. Kidding.
My next problem was where to start. So to my family & friends, know that this is not an order in which I love you or are ranking you. Prolly just the mood that hit me and how closely to Thursday you did something completely awesome I feel I must shout about from the rooftops my desk. (Which is a hard contest to win cause all my friends & fam are super awesome. In fact two of them are my fellow horseladies of #theApocalypseOfAwesome) but I digress.
Today I want to thank the universe for my husband. Even if he did let me blow my 3 beer country cruisin' limit to smitherins last night. But then he made me honey toast when we got home so all was well. Oh then he even plugged my Zune in for me when he left for work. See? Awesome.
So I realized I never really talk about him or post pics of us. Which is way lame but I was like maybe he doesn't want to be plastered all over the interwebz. Hell I'm surprised he wants to be seen in public with me. :P
He even still loves me when I get in the way of him eating his snickers ice cream.
Though not without some name-calling.
See name calling is a totally normal thing between us. No really you can ask our friends
We also like to show out love through some art...
Hell we greet each other by flipping each other off. It's how we say I love you really.
So baby I love you. Thank you for putting up with me, 'cause sometimes ya gotta do that with love. And sometimes love is name-calling (remember Dustin never said anything about name calling in his sermon at our wedding, he merely laughed when I tried to set myself on fire, cussed out loud in his church and yelled at you for having a chew in when I wanted to stick my tongue down your throat) and sometimes love is telling the other their breath smells like an antelope's ass. Okay totally kidding with that last one, neither of us have ever said that to one another but you can bet I'm saving it for a later date.
Most of all though. Love is holding on to each other through one of the hardest events in both of your lives and not letting go.
I love you Cody!
He's the Mamoru to my Usagi, the Tuxedo Mask to my Sailor Moon, the prince of Earth to my Princess of the Moon. (Pretty much I lurve him)
Today I want to thank the universe for my husband. Even if he did let me blow my 3 beer country cruisin' limit to smitherins last night. But then he made me honey toast when we got home so all was well. Oh then he even plugged my Zune in for me when he left for work. See? Awesome.
So I realized I never really talk about him or post pics of us. Which is way lame but I was like maybe he doesn't want to be plastered all over the interwebz. Hell I'm surprised he wants to be seen in public with me. :P
See name calling is a totally normal thing between us. No really you can ask our friends
Hell we greet each other by flipping each other off. It's how we say I love you really.
So baby I love you. Thank you for putting up with me, 'cause sometimes ya gotta do that with love. And sometimes love is name-calling (remember Dustin never said anything about name calling in his sermon at our wedding, he merely laughed when I tried to set myself on fire, cussed out loud in his church and yelled at you for having a chew in when I wanted to stick my tongue down your throat) and sometimes love is telling the other their breath smells like an antelope's ass. Okay totally kidding with that last one, neither of us have ever said that to one another but you can bet I'm saving it for a later date.
Most of all though. Love is holding on to each other through one of the hardest events in both of your lives and not letting go.
I love you Cody!
He's the Mamoru to my Usagi, the Tuxedo Mask to my Sailor Moon, the prince of Earth to my Princess of the Moon. (Pretty much I lurve him)
7/17/10
Sometimes It's Not Easy
and today is one of those times. I do fine, then something sets me off. It can be something like someone asking about it or something completely unrelated. Sometimes it takes a second to hit me, others it takes hours. It's hard and I hate it.
Even though there was nothing I could do about it, it flat out fucking sucks.
Sometimes I'm depressed.
Sometimes I'm pissed.
Sometimes I'm numb.
Sometimes I'm perfectly fine.
7/16/10
Catching Up
So the last couple weeks have been complete and utter craziness. It started out great with some awesome quality time with my bestie as we tried not to kick a db's ass as we waited in line for our midnight showing of Eclipse and then as we giggled through the movie (I'm a terrible person to go to the movies with. I'm forever making dirty jokes or if it's a bad movie just laughing at awkward parts). It was a blast. Even though I had to pee like 10 minutes into the movie and refused to miss any of it for a bathroom break, lol. We had a blast afterwards on the way home too of course cause whenever OnyxHikari and I are together fun (and a lil trouble) is bound to be had.
After all we are part of #theApocalypseOfAwesome.
The next day we went with my husband to the Nerdy Concert of Awesomeness (no really that's what I said when I requested the days off) so that I could see ALLCAPS (See how awesome bestie and hubs are? They had no idea what they were getting into, mwahahaha) and it was awesome. I missed ALLCAPS but did get to see the Parselmouths and lots of people just as nerdy as me, who had to wear her time-turner (would've been that & my Hogwarts shirt but guess who is too fat for her Hogwarts shirt). In fact the was so much nerdiness it was awesome and I almost glomped a random person because they had a Stargate tat, cause that is just AWESOME! So I roasted during their set and had to sit down (I was sweating like a pig, gross) and when I finally cooled down my bestie forced me to grow a set and meet Kristina Horner, one of my fav YouTubers and a part of both ALLCAPS & the Parselmouths. I'm terrible at meeting people. Especially people I admire or any level of famous. This is why when I say that I want to use Kellan Lutz, Michael Shanks, Alex Skarsgard, Charles Kelley or anyone famous like a humping post or rock their world so they'll never forget it, I'm ALL TALK. *sigh*
So anyway here is me with Kristina who was awesome. In fact I'd say she's an honorary member of #theApocalypseOfAwesome. :P
So then bestie went home. (I waited to cry til she was out the door, gotta be tough ya know. ;) ) Cody & I went to Estes and I got some photos and stuff and some orgasmic goodies from Laura's Candies in Estes Park. Srsly if you're ever there you absolutely must buy some fudge and caramel apples. When I say orgasmic, I mean it.
Friday I slept the day away, Saturday we went and saw Kory Brunson Band at the Stampede, which is another amazing band that you should check out, even if you're not a fan of country music *cough*Margie*cough* cause I think you'll love them. They're amazing and can even work a small crowd (which wouldn't have been small had the Stampede not been completely moronic and started charging to even get in after the $ you gotta shell out for parking. Yeah it keeps the riff-raff out for the most part but my aunt was one of the vendors and they were dead and said a lot of the vendors packed up and left halfway through the week. Ridic) but srsly. They're amazing. Oh & there name is the link to their site so there's no excuse for you to not go check them out so :P
*deep breath*
Here's where things got really awesome and then really shitty.
I went to bed way early Saturday and then Sunday I woke up early (5 am, a time I don't see unless I'm going to sleep) feeling sick, which I had been doing for a few days. I ate, went back to sleep and then had to wake up for work, well this time I was like I'll take a pregnancy test. Now I've taken a ton of these things in the past 2 1/2 years and they're always negative. Well this time I got a positive. I was floored and all I could say was OMFG. It was all quite funny afterward but now it's just depressing. I'll spare you the details but the gist is a trip to the ER Saturday and another this last Tuesday and a miscarriage. I spent all the rest of Tuesday being pissed at the world. I look back & realize how stupid that was but at the time all I could think was how is it crackheads can do drugs through their entire unwanted pregnancy and have a baby and I wanted one so bad and lost it. I was crushed, hurt and most of all heart broken. I also swore I was going to break the nose of the next person to tell us "everything happens for a reason".
Wednesday I had already had an appt to go over results from my Saturday ER visit & the follow up blood test on Monday so we kept it to discuss it all with a doctor. I was emotionally drained from the day before and pretty much numb. Well except for my heart which still ached like hell. But we did finally get some answers and we've got a plan. Plus now I have a doctor I love, she's so nice and explained some stuff that we thought we were past thanks to one doctor and what it meant for us.
So that's what we've been up to and why I've been quiet blog-wise lately. Sadly I wasn't as quiet as I was here, elsewhere, so I keep having to relive it when I see people that haven't heard. And on that note I've noticed something. The father's in these situations get the short end of the stick. As far as I can tell only a few people have said anything to him other than the people he's told and I think that sucks. Cody was ecstatic and just as crushed as I was, yet barely anyone has said a thing to him. So I guess just remember that if, god forbid, this situation happens close to you. The male half of the equation (or at least in a married couple) is probably just as crushed, so don't just give her some comforting words, remember him too.
Oh and I also don't recommend using "Everything happens for a reason" either. I'm alright with it now because I know it's true but it was the last thing I wanted to hear from anyone when I was still in the pissed-off-at-the-world mode and had someone said it to my face, I would have punched them. No joke. My besties & hubs know this, I have a hell of a temper on a perfectly good day, one of the worst days in my life? Scary thought.
It still sucks but I feel a lot better about things. We have a plan for the future and I finally got the full story on why my body hasn't been cooperating, which resulted in an I-told-ya-so for my poor husband but it's good to finally know what to do about it. Only took 2 1/2 years...
I want to leave this on a happy note though, so for your enjoyment. A funny.
I lol every time I see this. The expressions slay me. Even though I've been flashed & it is so not funny.
(maybe someday I'll blog about that wonderful day. >.< )
After all we are part of #theApocalypseOfAwesome.
The next day we went with my husband to the Nerdy Concert of Awesomeness (no really that's what I said when I requested the days off) so that I could see ALLCAPS (See how awesome bestie and hubs are? They had no idea what they were getting into, mwahahaha) and it was awesome. I missed ALLCAPS but did get to see the Parselmouths and lots of people just as nerdy as me, who had to wear her time-turner (would've been that & my Hogwarts shirt but guess who is too fat for her Hogwarts shirt). In fact the was so much nerdiness it was awesome and I almost glomped a random person because they had a Stargate tat, cause that is just AWESOME! So I roasted during their set and had to sit down (I was sweating like a pig, gross) and when I finally cooled down my bestie forced me to grow a set and meet Kristina Horner, one of my fav YouTubers and a part of both ALLCAPS & the Parselmouths. I'm terrible at meeting people. Especially people I admire or any level of famous. This is why when I say that I want to use Kellan Lutz, Michael Shanks, Alex Skarsgard, Charles Kelley or anyone famous like a humping post or rock their world so they'll never forget it, I'm ALL TALK. *sigh*
So anyway here is me with Kristina who was awesome. In fact I'd say she's an honorary member of #theApocalypseOfAwesome. :P
So then bestie went home. (I waited to cry til she was out the door, gotta be tough ya know. ;) ) Cody & I went to Estes and I got some photos and stuff and some orgasmic goodies from Laura's Candies in Estes Park. Srsly if you're ever there you absolutely must buy some fudge and caramel apples. When I say orgasmic, I mean it.
Friday I slept the day away, Saturday we went and saw Kory Brunson Band at the Stampede, which is another amazing band that you should check out, even if you're not a fan of country music *cough*Margie*cough* cause I think you'll love them. They're amazing and can even work a small crowd (which wouldn't have been small had the Stampede not been completely moronic and started charging to even get in after the $ you gotta shell out for parking. Yeah it keeps the riff-raff out for the most part but my aunt was one of the vendors and they were dead and said a lot of the vendors packed up and left halfway through the week. Ridic) but srsly. They're amazing. Oh & there name is the link to their site so there's no excuse for you to not go check them out so :P
*deep breath*
Here's where things got really awesome and then really shitty.
I went to bed way early Saturday and then Sunday I woke up early (5 am, a time I don't see unless I'm going to sleep) feeling sick, which I had been doing for a few days. I ate, went back to sleep and then had to wake up for work, well this time I was like I'll take a pregnancy test. Now I've taken a ton of these things in the past 2 1/2 years and they're always negative. Well this time I got a positive. I was floored and all I could say was OMFG. It was all quite funny afterward but now it's just depressing. I'll spare you the details but the gist is a trip to the ER Saturday and another this last Tuesday and a miscarriage. I spent all the rest of Tuesday being pissed at the world. I look back & realize how stupid that was but at the time all I could think was how is it crackheads can do drugs through their entire unwanted pregnancy and have a baby and I wanted one so bad and lost it. I was crushed, hurt and most of all heart broken. I also swore I was going to break the nose of the next person to tell us "everything happens for a reason".
Wednesday I had already had an appt to go over results from my Saturday ER visit & the follow up blood test on Monday so we kept it to discuss it all with a doctor. I was emotionally drained from the day before and pretty much numb. Well except for my heart which still ached like hell. But we did finally get some answers and we've got a plan. Plus now I have a doctor I love, she's so nice and explained some stuff that we thought we were past thanks to one doctor and what it meant for us.
So that's what we've been up to and why I've been quiet blog-wise lately. Sadly I wasn't as quiet as I was here, elsewhere, so I keep having to relive it when I see people that haven't heard. And on that note I've noticed something. The father's in these situations get the short end of the stick. As far as I can tell only a few people have said anything to him other than the people he's told and I think that sucks. Cody was ecstatic and just as crushed as I was, yet barely anyone has said a thing to him. So I guess just remember that if, god forbid, this situation happens close to you. The male half of the equation (or at least in a married couple) is probably just as crushed, so don't just give her some comforting words, remember him too.
Oh and I also don't recommend using "Everything happens for a reason" either. I'm alright with it now because I know it's true but it was the last thing I wanted to hear from anyone when I was still in the pissed-off-at-the-world mode and had someone said it to my face, I would have punched them. No joke. My besties & hubs know this, I have a hell of a temper on a perfectly good day, one of the worst days in my life? Scary thought.
It still sucks but I feel a lot better about things. We have a plan for the future and I finally got the full story on why my body hasn't been cooperating, which resulted in an I-told-ya-so for my poor husband but it's good to finally know what to do about it. Only took 2 1/2 years...
I want to leave this on a happy note though, so for your enjoyment. A funny.
(maybe someday I'll blog about that wonderful day. >.< )
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