Art History Final- Survived.

So our professor for our Art History class is also a professor at CSU and they're still in classes this week or he had a final there at the same time or something so he said we'd have a sub. "So if you walk in and someone else is standing here, don't freak out." Lol. This prof was awesome but the material and tests were a total bitch. Like stab yourself in the eye just to have an excuse for sucking on the test, hard kind of tests. We're jamming tons of artwork, artists and art periods all on one test. This final was over- 17 art periods (all of which we need to know the time period for), 80 artists and 82 artworks (there were more talked about but slides to study was only 82). Yeah, pain.

So our tests are a bunch of multiple choice of identifying an artworks either art period, date, or artist as well as a few multiple choice of just random info like "What psychiatrist's work inspired the artists of the ___ period?". Then there is the dreaded essay in which we have two artworks which we much compare and contrast in addition to knowing the artist, art period and dates.

So our sub was Chip, who is probably the most hilarious prof in the entire university, no joke. He collects shoes. Yes HE collects shoes and he has quite the impressive collection of funky colored sneakers. I once watched him teach a student how to knock on a door. He opens the door, tells her to stay right there and then do what they talked about. He shuts the door and she knocks. Then he opens the door and says "Hey! How are you, come on in!" Then says "See how that works?" and I almost fell of the floor in laughter. It was nothing less than amazing.

With that being said, here (finally) is the funnies from today's final. Chip cracked a few jokes here and there "oh this is definitely Monet" on works that weren't, etc. Then the best comment all day was made.

One of the multiple choice questions was this work by Jeff Koons:



And Chip says "Oh those Italian pornstars" and the entire room erupts into laughter. Some of us are even giggling three slides later. It was epic.

Then comes the essay and yay I knew both of the works, their time period and their date and one of the artist's name. Crap. So I shit you not this is what I wrote:

The first work is a feminist work by a woman whose name escapes me at this point and time. Heh, oops. So then I just kept referring to it as "the feminist work" and then as I'm finishing the last paragraph, BAM! Barbara Kruger! So I go back and go to change it and realize how lengthy my little sentence was, and hoping that my prof and his sense of humor can appreciate my intial effort merely cross out (with one line) my orginal statement from "a woman" on and write her name above it. Hope he gets a laugh out of it anyway, I know I sure did.

Mental Exhaustion

I had to take a break from my attempt at homework. I have to vent and do it quick or I may explode. Warning- my sailor mouth is exposed in this post.

My day has been crap. Migraine which I fought all day, and having to go print photos in a brightly lit room while staring at a computer screen was not helping at all. Then I've finally got it down to a dull roar so I can work on other stuff and I'm so damn stressed I can't focus. I keep bouncing from one thing to another and I'm not getting a damn thing done as a result. I keep bursting into tears, which definitely isn't helping matters either.

So I have a little "interview final" due in Japanese tomorrow. Sensei will ask questions and I have to answer them. Simple right? Yeah you'd think so other than the questions are in Japanese and I'm having a hell of a time translating them, and well without knowing what the question is asking it's a bit hard to answer it. Don't tell me to try online translators either. I've tried them all and nothing ever fucking works and I've had it.

Then I have a final photo project due tomorrow which I'm stressing hardcore. Still not sure how I want to present it and what's in my head looks spectacular, if only I had the means to make it reality. Then I'd like to have resubmitted some photos from previous projects and done extra credit for this one as well but it just ain't happenin'.

Then on top of all that I'm pretty well failing Art History III. That class if fucking ridiculous hard. As in I don't know how anyone that doesn't have a perfect photographic memory could ever pass with anything more than a freaking C. Oh the best part? I have to pass it with a B. _^&!_#^&!#(_^&(@#&^!!!!!!!!!! So I decided to do all the possible extra credit available, which is a whole 4 art work comparison that will help me out with 40 test percentage points, which may help had I not failed two of the three tests we've taken. It would also help me out greatly if I could just stop bursting into tears from the stress so I could read the damn textbook and see the computer screen in order to write it. At this point it would be better if I could fail it outright, then at least I could do grade forgiveness...

Then on top of it all my dumbass agreed to do a party tomorrow evening. Why? I'm a glutton for punishment apparently. Normally it's something I look forward to. I get to have fun, crack jokes about sex, educate women on keeping things spicy and make a some money while I'm at it, yet I'm so stressed out that even that joy has been sucked from my life.

Pretty much I hate everything right now.

Also, feel sorry for my husband who sat here all evening, watching me burst into tears every little bit and not knowing what the hell he could do to help. Poor man.